it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
