I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
