Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
