So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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