are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
