There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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