My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
