rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Boobs are out for the taking
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
