She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
