wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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