A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We are two peas in an std pod
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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