oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
