My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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