Ketchup is God's man juice
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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