next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
