Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
