Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You need a sexual gate keeper
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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