i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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