Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Randomize
