Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize