He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
