So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
