That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
