i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
