Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
