it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
