Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
