Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
