my sisters under your porch take her home
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Randomize
