god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
