wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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