Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
