i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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