Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
