you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
