Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
