I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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