There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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