Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Naked. naked and bneed help.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize