i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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