I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize