just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
