What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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