I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize