she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
my being single is dangerous.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
