and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
