whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
