At least make sure they are 18
Why
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
