I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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