she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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