People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
