So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
