her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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