So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
