I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
