uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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